The Joke Battle at Joke's End

                          7. The Joke Battle at Joke's End

"M-M-Mamma mia..." Luigi shivered visibly on the spot, his teeth chattered violently and he held himself tight to try and retain some warmth. He was still freezing even after the long, arduous trek they had to take in order to get to the very top floor of Joke's End whilst Mario had managed to get red, rosy cheeks. He slumped to the icy floor and mumbled something about not being able to feel his toes.

"Hey, are you OK, bro?" asked Mario, concerned. He'd have thought that Luigi would have been toasty after the sudden onslaught of those strange Glurp thingies they had encountered earlier, especially the ones that complained that they were hungry and actually tried to eat them. Mario sat down next to his brother and lit up a fireball for the comfort of them both.

"Th-Thanks, Mario," Luigi stuttered as he curled up near the red flames. He sighed with relief as the glorious warmth of it reached him. He then looked ahead and saw that they were thankfully at the top of Joke's End now and they only had to get through this room in order to get to where the Beanstar was being held probably. Thank the bloody stars for that, he thought happily.

"Better?" Mario asked in typical older-brotherly fashion. Luigi nodded and let his head drift to the ground. He felt so tired; they had practically been doing battles every 5 seconds and running ragged from top to bottom and bottom to top to open whatever gates or doors needed opening and searching out items that they depended on in battle. Luigi checked his pockets and found that they were running low on syrups again. Not that he was too concerned about this; their BP was full anyway and besides, he was getting absolutely sick of syrup; it felt as if his teeth had been rubbed with sandpaper.

Luigi curled up and used Mario's lap as a pillow without even realising it and closed his eyes, ready just to sleep the whole day away. Mario tousled his brother's hair and judging by his lack of reaction; it seemed that Luigi had already dropped off.

Mario considered two options concerning his sleeping brother: Now should I be nice and let Luigi have some rest? After all, he's been carrying me with that awesome Spin Jump thing and that heavy barrel just so we could get some items and we have done some trekking today. Or should I be nasty and wake him up for the hell of it? We've got to save the Princess after all. Or actually, thinking about it, should I get some shut-eye myself?

Now which option do you think Mario chose?

"YEOWCH!" Luigi yelped as Mario pulled back one of his overall straps really far and let it go with a resounding twang. Luigi threw himself off and leapt up onto his feet. "What on earth was that for you bastard? And here I thought you were being nice to me!"

"Sorry, Luigi," said Mario with not a trace of apology on his face. "But we've got to keep on moving; the Princess is only just ahead and she wouldn't appreciate us sleeping on the job!"

"But I'm shattered!" Luigi groaned. "And for once in our entire lives, can't she avoid being kidnapped just the once?"

Mario couldn't disagree on that one but they weren't that far from the end now as he could tell from their location on the map. Luigi walked on ahead, shook his head and walked back.

"Well, we can hardly spin jump over that one, Mario!" he said and this was true; the gap between the platform they were standing on and the next one was just too far. Mario punched an exclamation block above his head and saw a bridge momentarily appear between the gaps but it went away again too fast for them to be able to run across it. Mario had an idea...

"Oh, please no," said Luigi when he realised what his brother was thinking.

"Well have you got any better ideas, genius?" Mario snapped. "You've shocked me enough times anyway; it's about time I got my comeuppance!"

"Ooh, believe me bro," said Luigi narrowing his eyes. "I'm not through with it yet."

"Yeah, whatever, now you hit the block, walk over there and then I can set fire to you."

"Marvellous plan," Luigi muttered but he had to oblige. He yelped as Mario set the back of his overalls alight and he dashed forwards much faster than he would normally be able to. Of course, the fire would also go out quickly as well...

"Well, at least you're warm now," said Mario trying not to laugh as Luigi put himself out. He glared at Mario and was about to take out his hammer when they were approached by the strange blue spirit that they had met earlier. They both seriously hoped that it would no longer play any more games with them. Luigi opened his mouth to say something.

"No, Luigi," said Mario. "I still don't know it is a boy or a girl."

"Welcome," said Jojora. "You're the first people ever to climb all the way up here! Cool... You're pretty darn determined! Let me reward you with a little something, OK?"

"But Bowletta and Fawful managed to get all the way up here!" Mario whispered to Luigi.

"Yeah, but they would have flown up in the Koopa Clown Car or whatever. Did you expect them to climb up?"

"Well, no..."

Mario and Luigi were led to some seats which they gladly took and both expressed surprise when Jojora asked them which of his/her friends they would like to invite over for a spot of tea.

"Ooh, goody, a tea party..." Luigi muttered.

"Polly put the kettle on," Mario sang in a voice low enough for only Luigi to hear. "Polly put the kettle on, Polly put the kettle on, we'll all have tea. Poor Polly just dropped dead, Poor Polly just dropped dead, Poor Polly just dropped dead so sod the bloody tea!"

"Ch-Chucklissa," said Luigi, struggling to keep his face straight.

"Oh, man! You two have really good taste!"

Mario and Luigi looked at each other and thought, Is this guy serious?

"Chucklissa! Come here and introduce yourself!"

Both brothers were shook from their seats as Chucklissa literally dropped in on them. They looked up and saw quite an ugly visage greet them. It was also really big...

"GAHAHAHA! I'm Chucklissa. Please sit back and make yourselves comfortable if you are done working for the day. GAHAHAHAHA!"

"Well done. Now take good care of our honourable guests." This was said directly before they attacked the brothers at the same time.

"This is taking care of us?" questioned Mario as he avoided a serious hammer blow from Chucklissa. Luigi also sprung to the side dodging the attack. Jojora then tried to attack Luigi with the funny wand but he easily whacked it out of the way with his hammer. Jojora flew off screeching: "EEK! Uncool you creep!"

"Well that settles it," said Mario. "That guy is a girl. No guy would say something like that." Luigi had heard Waluigi say something like that but he declined to comment. Chucklissa tried to grab Mario but he jumped out of the way. "Shall we use the advanced Fire Bros. Technique, Luigi?"

Luigi nodded and Mario began to produce several large fireballs. He threw them one at a time at Luigi who whacked them with his hammer but Mario leapt up and hit each fireball in place before they hit Chucklissa so the fireballs grew into one collective deadly flame. Then Mario jumped off Luigi and struck the fireball hitting a perfect target at Chucklissa. She was burnt as an added bonus.

"You could hardly miss," said Luigi as Mario touched the ground again.

"You would knowing you."

They carried on fighting Chucklissa using every attack in their arsenal and then Jojora returned having spent quite a while out of the field. Then before they all knew it, Chucklissa suddenly exploded into little star bits signifying defeat.

"Phew... glad we've got rid of that one!" said Mario.

"Hey," said Luigi. "Isn't that Jojora supposed to flee now? She did so before."

"Yeah... good point."

Jojora moved to attack Mario with the wand that was probably really powerful but they didn't give themselves time to find out just how powerful it was. Mario swiped it away and Jojora fled again prompting comment about wusses from Luigi. They were going to celebrate her defeat but realised that because they hadn't suddenly gained experience points (there was a certain feeling when that happened) and they hadn't gained any coins or items either, the battle was technically still going.

"What the hell is going on?" said Luigi, confused.

"This really is Joke's End," said Mario. "I can't understand this place. But... I think I can see Jojora ahead in the little sneaky hiding place over there. I'm going to try and reach it."

Luigi couldn't see her; she was in an area technically out of bounds to them; perhaps it was the switching of dimensions. Mario prepared to jump.

"No, don't bro!" Luigi shouted.

"HERE I GO!"

Mario took the leap and flew over to his missing opponent in that possible other dimension that Luigi couldn't see as he wasn't attacking. He waited. And waited. And waited some more. But Mario still didn't return.

"Where on earth has he gone?" said Luigi to himself. "Surely he hasn't vanished. He could be doing anything back there..." Luigi tried not to give this too much thought. "Hey, he jumped so far, it was... OVER 9000!"