An Eggscellent Hunt

                                 An Eggscellent Hunt!


Finally, after what seemed to be one of the longest winters in ages, Spring had finally arrived bringing with it some welcome warm weather and new life in abundance (this was especially true as there were fluffy, little chicks practically falling out of the Farmer's cupboards). Daffodils sprung up left, right and centre and everything was blooming. It was also the beginning of Easter.

Now the Farmer had always liked to get into the spirit of things, it was true. Many a time had his sudden capricious whims led to some sort of mishap such as the time when he got that quad bike and immediately crashed it. (Little did he know that the lamb was far better at driving it than he was.) As it was then, Bitzer couldn't help but feel slightly nervous at the fact when the Farmer announced that he was going to let the villagers use his fields as the site for Easter egg hunting this year. It seemed a safe enough enterprise; they would just hide some eggs in tufts of grass or behind bales of hay and let the kids have fun finding them. Surely there wouldn't be any sort of mishap would there? Besides, the Farmer had already said that he wanted the sheep to be kept in the barn that day while the kids were hunting for those chocolaty goodies; Bitzer could be relieved of his duties that day.

Of course, he hadn't depended on the fact that the Farmer's Niece would also be coming, that little, spoilt brat. This he told the Flock as soon as he found out much to their dismay. "Not again!" they all grumbled.

"I suppose it will be alright if we just stay in here like we're supposed to," said Shaun with his arms crossed. He was one of the youngest sheep in the Flock and as the most intelligent, the unofficial Leader. "Anyway, if you think that I'm going to be a horse again for that girl, you've got another thing coming!"

"You made a very good horse," said Timmy's Mother affectionately as she knitted a new garment. "It kept her out of our wool anyway."

"Yes, well," said Bitzer. "She won't want to come in here as they'll all be out there hunting for chocolate eggs. It's what they do at this time of year."

"Chocolate!" squeaked Timmy, the little lamb. He clutched his teddy tightly as he spoke. "Me wan' chocolate!"

"Mmm… chocolate…" rumbled Shirley. Anything relating to food was of great interest to her. The Flock reminisced over the thought of that glorious chocolate; they hadn't had any for ages, not since that Cadburys' van had pulled in at the farm once asking for directions. Humans, for all their faults, did create some very delicious foodstuffs. Much better than grass anyway.

Bitzer rolled his eyes at their drooling and looked at Shaun who had that familiar thoughtful look in his eye and was wearing that mischievous grin. He immediately blocked the exit of the barn before Shaun could take another step forward.

"Whatever you are thinking, you're not doing it," he said.

"That's a bit harsh isn't it?" asked Shaun. "It's as if you don't trust me."

"I've known you for far too long," groaned Bitzer. "You'll do something that will get me into trouble and make a load of screaming kids cry and make the boss angry and something will happen, I just know it!"

"Since when have I got you into trouble?" asked Shaun innocently as he tried to make his way past the sheepdog.

"When we had that new concrete put down and you were all treating it like a Walk of Fame!"

"Oh, yeah…" said Shaun, grinning. "I'd forgotten about that. But still, it was all sorted out wasn't it? And anyway, this hunt isn't until tomorrow is it?"

"No," said Bitzer slightly testily.

"Right," surmised Shaun. "So there is no harm in us going out today, especially as the Farmer is going to be wondering where we all are. I can't do anything yet even if I wanted to. How many eggs are there going to be?"

"A few hundred or so," said Bitzer as he stood outside and let everybody else past. Already, their minds were full of the thoughts of a bumper pack of Easter eggs. He locked up the barn as soon as everybody was out and poured himself a cup of tea.

"Well, that's more than enough for everybody," said Shaun reasonably. "The kids would only be sick if they ate all that chocolate and I don't see why everybody can't get involved. We'll be doing them a favour! Besides," he said as he took Bitzer's cuppa. "Don't tell me you don't like chocolate because you do. I remember the biscuits."

"Well…" Bitzer said, desperately trying to ignore Shaun's pleading look. It got him every time. "Well… just don't cause any trouble, alright? 'Cause if anything happens, I'm blaming you."

"Yes, thanks Bitzer!" said Shaun. "Don't worry, it will be a smoother operation than you can imagine!"

"Here we go again," Bitzer sighed.

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As the next day dawned, the Flock were already up early so they could see where most of the eggs were being hidden; rather craftily they were hidden too and Shaun noticed that the biggest eggs were near their favourite tree, tucked out of the way, almost as if the Famer was planning to have them himself. The plan was to get as many as possible without the Farmer or the kids noticing. Of course, they wouldn't take them all; that would be greedy, just enough though to be fair. And anyway, Shaun had promised Timmy that he wouldn't miss out; he doted on his little cousin. However, it did require a good plan. And Shaun liked planning plans.

"OK then," he said tapping at that faithful blackboard. "Now if〖 tan〗⁡56=sin⁡3/cos⁡9  [■(3&⋯&6@⋮&⋱&⋮9&⋯&1)] when we are at position A and item X is in the current position of f(x)=a_0+∑_(n=1)^∞▒(a_n  cos⁡〖nπx/L〗+b_n  sin⁡〖nπx/L〗 ) , then we are approximately 315.91345 metres away from item X. Since we require the use of items Y and Z, which will bring some of you to a distance of 365.890654 metres, the rest of you may need to create a diversion at position B if x-9b±√(b^2-4ac))/2a. This will then allow the rest of us to come back with items Y and Z at position A. Taking into account theoretical diversions; we should then manage to get to position C if (x+a)^n=∑_(k=0)^n▒〖(n¦k) x^k a^(n-k) 〗. From position C, I'll move into position D with items Y and Z as long as somebody else is at position E and some others are watching out for positions F, G, H and I. When I've retrieved item X, we can all then get back to position A. Now, are there any questions?"

There was a long silence as everybody tried to take this information in. Then Bitzer raised a paw.

"Er, yes. Could you explain that again, please? A shortened version, if you will."

"What? But that was the shortened version!" cried Shaun. "It's a simple enough plan!"

"Simple?!" said a disbelieving Bitzer. "We don't all do advanced mathematics! If that's simple, I hate to see what the complicated plan is!"

Shaun sighed. It was hard work being an unappreciated genius.

"Do I really need to explain it again?" asked Shaun wearily.

"YES!" they chorused.

Once it was explained a second time round, in layman's terms, everybody nodded with approval at the plan. As Shaun cleaned the chalk off the blackboard, Timmy was tugging at his tail.

"Shaun?" he asked in that tone of voice that suggests that someone wants something.

"Yes?" he said cautiously. You had to be wary about Timmy at times; he was getting sneaky. Timmy's Mother had always said that he had been learning off Shaun too much.

"You know at Easter time, when someone delivers all the eggs?"

"Mm?"

"Well… who delivers them?"

"Errrr… the Easter Bunny I suppose," he said. This is what he had heard the people telling their kids.

"Why? Bunnies don't lay eggs!"

"Well, no, but-"

"Bunnies hop about an' stuff but they don't carry eggs! Chickens lay eggs though. Don't chickens lay eggs?"

"Yes they do, but-"

"But they're only small eggs! How do they make them big and full of choccy? Shaun-"

"Err…"

"Shaun?"

"Look, Mum's got your teddy there," said Shaun quickly. "Maybe she can explain?"

Timmy darted off while Shaun breathed a sigh of relief. Bitzer was watching him.

"You got outsmarted by a lamb!" he sniggered.

"No I didn't!" said Shaun as he looked outside to see all of the villagers tramping into the fields with their children dragging them off into all kinds of directions.

"Yes you did! I saw you! This is so- oh, wait, I better go," he said as he heard his master whistling for him. "This is going to be fun I'm sure… See you later and save some for me!"

Shaun waved him off and began to organise the Flock in accordance to the plan. Timmy wanted to be part of it too but his Mother wasn't having any of it what with all those boisterous children out there.

"But I wanna go and find some choccy eggs! Waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!"

"Timmy," said Shaun consolingly before they all got deafened by the lamb's wailing. "The quicker we get this done, the quicker we can get back and have all these eggs and sweets and stuff, yeah?"

Timmy sniffed. "Will you be quick?"

"Very quick."

"Really quick?"

"As quick as possible," said Shaun. "Now, if you lot there would come with me to the house and if you lot would wait over there…"

As if it was a military operation, Shaun and some of the others slipped out of the barn window and edged their way over to the hedge. A group of children were blocking the gates, already stuffing their faces greedily. Shaun motioned for the other sheep to come over as one of the 'diversions' caught their attention. (Alright, so it was a robotic Easter rabbit. It was good enough.) They soon slipped through the cat-flap and into the landing. Shaun was searching for something in particular but he wasn't sure where it was.

"Have any of you found the fishing rod yet?" he asked. One of the sheep opened a cupboard.

"No, but there's some photos in here that must have been taken 40 years ago! Look at his hair!"

"I'll take that as a no then."

"Was that the sort of fashion they really wore back then?"

"Can we keep on task please?" said Shaun impatiently. "We haven't got much time!"

"Do we really need the cable?" asked one of the others.

"Of course we need the cable! They've put a lot of obstacles out there to make things more interesting for the kids. We can't just sneak across with a basket you know. Ah, here's the fishing rod. With this and the cable, you can reel me up and down and across and voila! Job's a good 'un."

"If you say so…"

After some searching and some near false alarms when they thought that the Farmer was going to discover them, Shaun and his companions managed to get the items that they needed, including a strong basket or two. Little did they know that Timmy had sneaked out to do some hunting of his own though. He wandered about the field, undisturbed before coming across his first brightly-coloured egg.

"Chocolate!" he cried happily before he chomped on it. "Yuck!" he said as he forgot to take the wrapping off. It was a better bite the second time.

Shaun and the rest of the sheep went through the cat-flap and made it back to the barn in a matter of seconds despite the heavy equipment. Bitzer kept an eye of them from a distance and shook his head in disbelief when he saw that Shaun was wearing that fishing hat again. Apparently, it helped him get into the scheme of things.

The Flock all went out through the window for the doors had been locked as the Farmer had wanted and they took a peek at their beloved field. There were bunting and tall maypoles and tents everywhere! It was like a mini carnival. This was going to be tricky Shaun had thought but he delighted in the challenge. He got a couple of the sheep to pile up some bales of hay near one of the maypoles to tie one end of the cable at its top. The other end could tied to another pole and changed when need be. The fishing rod, which Shaun held, would make it easy to reel in baskets. Of course, single eggs would be hard to pick up this way so last night, he had made an extendable grabber (the Farmer never missed any of his scrap). What he aimed for was a sort of pulley system so he could get to different spots overhead without anybody else noticing. This could be linked together with more cable which he would be tied to.

Shaun climbed up onto the hay bales, watching carefully in case he was spotted and tied himself to the line before he gave the signal. Bitzer tried not to notice any of this but he couldn't help thinking: what on earth is he up to?

The operation was tricky at first, especially as the sheep had to make sure that the kids weren't going to notice that the Easter eggs were slowly going missing because of one sheep from above with a rod and a gadget. Each time he found a clutch, they would pull him back and put the eggs somewhere safe. (Shirley was first considered but then they realised that it wouldn't be a good idea.) Meanwhile, Timmy was having great fun gorging himself silly and watching the people play amusement games. He accidentally stopped the duck-shooting one (why shoot ducks?) by pressing on the switch and they hadn't a clue as to what was going on.

"Nearly there…" muttered Shaun to himself as he attempted to reel in the heaviest basket yet; what were these things made out of? Stone? Then he heard some voices behind him and they were not the friendly sort.

Trotter, Grub and Porky: the three Naughty Pigs. They were always causing trouble for the Flock and they had a special grudge against Shaun. Trotter, the leader of the trio held a pair of shears menacingly. Shaun smiled cautiously.

"Hi, guys," he said nervously. "We're not having these all ourselves you know. If you promise to put those shears down and be really nice, we'll give you some. The biggest ones. No hard feelings, eh Trotter?"

The Three Pigs looked at each time and then snorted with laughter.

"You think we're gonna fall for that?" said Trotter. "We ain't that stoopid!"

"Yeah," said Grub, punching open fist with the other.

"We're gonna take all them for ourselves!" said Porky.

"Let's get him," said Grub.

"You know you really bring this on by yourselves," sighed Shaun. "I did offer so if you don't get anything later, don't complain because I won't have you threatening me!"

"Oh, yeah?" cackled Trotter. "Then how about we threaten your cousin instead? I can see him now."

"What?" Shaun turned around and Trotter snipped through the cable, laughing hard as he did so, sending Shaun plummeting to the ground. He fell flat on his face and the rod snapped in half as did the grabber.

"Oops…" he said. "He's not going to be pleased about that."

"I feel sick…"

Oh, well, they weren't fibbing about that at least, thought Shaun as he found Timmy lying behind one of the tents, fortunately out of sight. The lamb groaned as he tried to sit up.

"What had I told you earlier?" said Shaun as he rebuked Timmy. "And how did you get out of the barn anyway?"

"Secret tunnel…" moaned Timmy. "Shirley was busy eating. I wanted to look about…"

"I said I would bring some back, you need to be more patient, next time, OK?" Timmy hiccupped. "You didn't eat the wrapper did you?"

"A little bit."

Shaun sighed and picked up Timmy, allowing him to ride piggyback. "Well, let's get you back. We've got enough now anyway. Now, what have you got to remember next time?"

"To stay in the barn when I've been told to."

"And?"

"Not to eat so much."

"Good," said Shaun. "You'll be fine in a while. Come on, then."

It was difficult carrying a queasy lamb who was still fascinated by everything that was going on around him; the blasting music, the dashing people. Nevertheless, Shaun almost got to the gate when he dropped Timmy quickly with a soft thump. The Farmer's Niece was skipping out of the house and in their direction.

"Ooh, sheepies!" she cried happily while munching on chocolate.

"Baa?" said Shaun.

"Ooh, you were my horsey. We can play horsey again!"

"Are you going to be a horsey again, Shaun?" Timmy whispered.

"No chance! She has chocolate all over her and my wool is clean thank you. Besides, it was really tiring work."

Just then, the Farmer came out of the house and his niece ran over to him to point the 'sheepies'. Shaun grabbed Timmy and ran into the hedge.

"That was a close one," said Shaun. "Looks like they're packing up now… Well, mission accomplished I say!"

Timmy then threw up just missing Shaun. Shaun just rolled his eyes and dragged the lamb into the barn.

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Later, when the sun was setting and everybody had had their fill, including Bitzer, the Flock started talking about the day's events including the chaos had seemed to have happened in one part of the field. Shaun glanced at Timmy who said nothing. Bitzer was happy that nothing major had gone wrong. He sat back, as relaxed as the rest of them.

"Can we do this again next year?" asked Timmy, nudging his Mother. "Pwease?"

"Perhaps," she said reminding herself to keep a closer eye on her offspring in future.

"Can we Shaun, can we?" said Timmy as he jumped on Shaun.

"Oof! Yes, yes! Maybe, probably, if you get off me!"

"You know, you're always good with him," said Bitzer as Timmy ran off again, possibly to pester somebody else. "I'd have thought you'd have wanted some yourself."

"What, kids?" said Shaun aghast. "Why on earth do you think that?"

"Oh, just wondering, this supposed to be a celebration of new life and all of that."

"No way," smirked Shaun. "One lamb's enough for this family."

"Can we play, Shaun?"

The Flock suddenly heard three loud thuds on the roof of the barn. Shaun got up and gave himself a small smile.

"We will, but first, I have to deal with these first…"